I Was Minding My Own Business

OK, that’s not strictly true since I was at the computer reading other people’s thoughts and catching up on outstanding emails. It was 3.20 am this morning and I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t get comfortable Now I don’t want anyone to think I couldn’t admit to dozing off on the odd occasion since more than one person has sent me an email with a big question mark where I seem to have sent them a message in some rare Gnomish dialect. But, I was not dozing this morning.

Question. How many of you have watched/heard a cat when they jump from somewhere high to somewhere lower? There’s usually the sound of the front two feet followed quickly by the back two. Two little bumps but unmistakable. My computer table lies at a right angle to the bottom of my bed and I was sitting side on to the table so I could have my bad leg (and the lazy one) on the bed. There was the softest sound but two little shock waves ran up from my heels. Nope, the ceiling was still intact and nothing was there

Some of you may have read my Barsetshire Diaries Blog and been introduced to Oscar, one of my arch nemisisis. enemies. My wife’s cat, she could do no wrong in his eyes but I was treated with disdain. Mainly a house cat by choice he did occasionally go out but usually he chose some unearthly hour of the night to do so. Often like 3..20 am. One of his methods to get his own way was to jump from a tall bookshelf at the end of my bed directly on to my stomach (if I was lucky, or his aim was off). I swear he’s the reason I can only sleep curled up on my side now. other choices might be to lie on my face so I couldn’t breathe, put a paw under the covers and swipe the nearest piece of anatomy, or crawl under the covers and run his claws down the sole of my foot. Once I was awake he’d indicate his orders which might be like “Open a window serf” or perhaps “I don’t like what’s in my dish, fill it fool.” Ju used to get long and fascinating conversation from Oscar, I got orders.

I think he’s back. There have been strange noises all night since then and though my slippers re dry, I found my dressing gown belt was wet through at one end a short time ago. I’m willing to accept I was in the kitchen at 3.00 am and did have occasion to run some water in the sink so that on may have been me somehow but I’m starting not to like the odds. In fact now it isn’t a case of can’t sleep, it’s I’m afraid to go to sleep. Has anyone got a tent they’re not using so I can camp out?

Hugs to the World. We’re all family.

About davidprosser

Retired Local Government Officer who started to write at age 60 and hasn't looked back. Writes a humorous diary on the life of a member of the gentry.......and the village he lives in with his sadistic early morning alarm cat Oscar and his wife the formidable Lady J.
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22 Responses to I Was Minding My Own Business

  1. jilldennison says:

    Heh heh … perhaps Oscar just dropped in to keep you company, knowing that you were probably lonely! However, I’m thinking that if you’re concerned about his ghostly presence, I could lend you Tiger Lily (you remember, the feral one) who would keep him at bay with her ferocious screech and her nine-inch claws! But, in truth, I’m thinking the more likely explanation for the thump sound was that one of those boxes of books you recently stored in the attic took a tumble … probably should have Mike check on that. Now, get some sleep!
    Cwtch

    Liked by 2 people

    • davidprosser says:

      Oh no, it wasn’t the thump sound that bothered me, it was the thump feel on the bed near my feet. Thanks for the offer but I have to decline Tiger Lily. Claws that size would probably keep me at bay too and Joey wouldn’t like the,’ you’re my dinner’ glances very much Too late for sleep now if the podiatrist is coming.
      Cwtch

      Liked by 2 people

      • jilldennison says:

        You’re quite right … Tiger Lily has left permanent scars on all of us, particularly poor Miss Goose! I think she’d be afraid of Joey, though … she’s petrified of the birds outside!
        Cwtch

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you need to CATch more sleep.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. davidprosser says:

    Me-ow, I’ll try.
    Massive Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Maybe you should try to make peace with Oscar?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Keith says:

    Question – is Oscar short for Oscar Wilde? Please do get some sleep, as you are making me yawn seeing the time of night in your post. Cheers, Keith

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is the ninth life coming back to haunt you, David. It will go away soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. BERNADETTE says:

    Sounds like you need a exorcist.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. inavukic says:

    Some serious stuff going on since it got you contemplating moving out David :)))) Be well and I hope you get some good sleet during the week

    Liked by 1 person

  9. MELewis says:

    Heaven help us if this is anything more than a flight of fantasy (or a horror film). I have several cat skeletons in my closet (including an Oscar) who are probably all fighting over who gets to go first. ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ™€ Next time he makes an appearance, asking him for a sleeping pill!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. davidprosser says:

    My heel tells me it was no flight of fancy and Oscar’s speciality would be a sleeping pill for Ju, he didn’t do favours for the staff-me.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. yvettecarol says:

    LOL. Seriously great post, David. I laughed a lot so thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

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