THE LAST VESTIGES.

Well, it happened. I wasn’t watching closely enough and it crept up on me. January 18th 2021 Martin Luthor King Day, Blue Monday, Thesaurus Day, and not to forget Winnie the Pooh Day. It was also the day no-one would let me forget that I reached my biblical Three Score and Ten.

As one of my son-in-law’s sisters was kind enough to point out on video, It’s amazing I’ve reached so great an age. I’m trying hard to imagine that she meant I’ve become an elder statesman with the wisdom of the ages settled nicely on my shoulders so that I appear well balanced.

On the other hand knowing that I stayed up all night answering emails, Texts and messages from any of my Linkedin groups my daughter thinks I’ve lost the last vestiges of my common sense. It was a case of should I be allowed to live alone any more or would they come to take me away.

My brother-in-law suggests I should apply for a Thai Bride to rejuvenate me. When daylight broke I clicked on video my daughter had caused to be made and cried like a 7 year old rather than a 69 years and 365 days old adult as family and friends paraded before me with a series of delightful messages reminding me how old I am, interspersed with photographs of me with my grandchildren from birth onwards and pictures of my beautiful wife who never got to meet them. I can promise those of you with shares in a tissue factory that you’ll be getting a big bonus this year.

I wandered through to the lounge my arm going numb from the continuous vibrating of my phone. No messages, I just like the sensation. Joey was awake enough for me not to disturb him as I opened my gifts but he reminded me to open he cage door first. It’s not that he comes out very often but he does like the option of being able to tug at my hair as he flies past. When Mike stays here it’s usually him gets the flight path engraved on his head. All I hear is, Ouch, you little B****. In the furthest chair from the cage I can generally sit quite happy that mayhem ensues elsewhere.

This is not Joey but one of his brighter cousins. Joey is a sullen, brooding monster who sits in his cage eating the honey seed bells we get especially for him, plotting his revenge on mankind for imagined insults.

Anyway, back to the present opening. My brother-in-law had impressed on me just how carefully I was to open my gift from him and my wife’s sister. Taking off the outer layer I was faced with a small gift that felt light but which he’d led me to believe was a blow up doll, even I had worked out it wasn’t Thai bride. The tape said Fragile and was protecting the contents with a grip that even my scissors struggled with. I did get inside eventually and the floor looked like I’d just held a wedding .Inside were six coins, three of which carried the Welsh dragon and three of which he later assured me were real gambling silver dollars from the old Mississippi riverboats. One side carries the American Dollar value and the other side….naked ladies. I blushed. I couldn’t fid the blow up doll though so he must have forgotten to put it in. Still, I’m too old to play with dolls.

So, I have a big question. Am I the Elder Statesman, the eldest of my generation in the family, or am I finally at the age where I can be a little mischievous but carry an air of innocence about me? I’m going back to wearing my waistcoats to lend a air of dignity though the fluorescence of some might lend itself more to rakishness. Mind you, is that so bad? Maybe at 70 I’m in a different world from anyone else.

Peace, Much Love and Virtual Hugs to you all.

David

About davidprosser

Retired Local Government Officer who started to write at age 60 and hasn't looked back. Writes a humorous diary on the life of a member of the gentry.......and the village he lives in with his sadistic early morning alarm cat Oscar and his wife the formidable Lady J.
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19 Responses to THE LAST VESTIGES.

  1. jilldennison says:

    Ha ha ha … you make me laugh with “… am I finally at the age where I can be a little mischievous but carry an air of innocence about me?” Just when haven’t you been a little mischievous and yet carried an air of feigned innocence? And yes, you are the elder statesman … it suits you, somehow. Penblwydd hapus!!! And remember, I am some 139 days, or 3,336 hours behinds you!
    Cwtch Mawr

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Clive says:

    Many happy returns for yesterday. Your gifts certainly sparked your imagination – just look at the mix in the video choices! And the OFAH one always brings a smile to my face ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 2 people

  3. MELewis says:

    Nice of you to give us a birthday present — an update on the cast of characters in your life. I smiled to imagine you blushing at the coins and Joey tattooing Mike’s head. A very happy belated birthday to you David, and many happy returns. Seventy seems like the new 50, n’est-ce pas?

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Nan says:

    What a delightful read! And HAPPY, HAPPY (day after) January 18th! ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‰

    BTW, as far as I’m concerned, you’re still a young whippersnapper!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Keith says:

    David, nothing wrong with being a little eccentric. The young ones will love you more and you can sneak up on the older ones with your wit masked by the eccentricity. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    • davidprosser says:

      Hmmm, I’m still trying to find the dividing line between eccentric and borderline lunatic, Keith.
      Hugs

      Like

      • Keith says:

        David, let me know so you can advise me. My brother-in-law who has passed, once wore a pink sportscoat to wedding of our nephew in the old south city of Charleston, SC. People who did not know him thought he must be eccentric and come from a lot of money, so he was treated with deference. Just be colorful, in clothes and action.

        Remember the great writer Tom Wolfe always wore white suits. That was his statement. And, of course, we can never forget the Man in Black, whose music lives on across the globe, Keith

        Liked by 1 person

      • davidprosser says:

        I do have one ready eccentricity, Keith. Waistcoats (vests, Ha, don’t start me on the differences in our shared language). I have quite a few in all colours of the rainbow. I just need slightly warmer weather.
        Hugs

        Like

      • Keith says:

        David, I am thinking of the Gareth in “Four weddings and a funeral.” He loved his waistcoats. Keith

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy belated birthday my friend. Only 70 and you are concerned? I still have 8 years on you, having turned 78 the day after Christmas, so to me you are still a spring chicken. You are younger than my youngest sibling, closer in age to my oldest kid, witty as my dad who remained 39 for at least 50 years. Since my math skills are terrible, I’m sure dad wasn’t that age since he was technically 77 when he passed, but since his sense of humor and love of practical jokes stayed with him all his life it was easy to believe he was perpetually 39. And all the prezzies. I was hoping you had been given a blowup doll for company. I would have made her a wardrobe fit for the queen, but I suppose you would have had trouble introducing her to friends and remaining out of a sanitarium for the slightly incapacitated unhinged with a companion like that. hUMONGOUS HUGS! Letter to follow with more insults and injuries!

    Like

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