A Timely Reminder

I had a shock today and it was very unwelcome. At the start of this month I’d gone through my address book and sent out Christmas cards to all my friends. In one or two I’d added a note perhaps regretting I’ve not seen so much of them recently. I must have thought of it as a duty performed. Today as I came home from being with Yvonne I picked up my cards from behind the door. After an urgent trip to the loo for bus journey bladderitis I put some lunch on then opened my cards.

One card had but a single name on it and I couldn’t quite register the fact and I know my eyes scanned the card for the other name, the lead name. It wasn’t there. There was a note which I read carefully. My friend’s wife told me he’d been diagnosed with liver cancer this year and had died peacefully in August. I’d known nothing of it because I’d not seen anything of them this year and the last time I’d written was an Easter card. At one point Mike and I used to see them virtually every Saturday morning as we were finishing our shop as they arrived to start theirs. Then we started and finished a little earlier to satisfy me and that contact, slim as it was, had been broken.

J had been the Senior Officer in an office I used to visit perhaps once a week for benefit surgeries. I’d been going there a few years and he was always pleasant and would always pass the time of day  until the office opened. There were others there that I perhaps I used to talk to more but it was for only about ten minutes until the office officially opened and my work started. Ten minutes, maybe once a week for some years. I could never honestly say we were friends but we were friendly. When I became ill and  went on long term sick very few of my work colleagues visited me (says more about me than about them) but J made the occasional visit. After Ju died he perhaps came a little more often and maybe stayed a bit longer. He and his lovely wife even took me to a concert which had my nerve ends screaming but I managed it. He insisted they were only ever a phone call away. They did not deserve my neglect and just the occasional card. He had become a friend who deserved so much more as did his wife who might have needed some of the support they gave me when I needed it.

OK, the reason for this post is to maybe remind some of you that if you’ve got friends you haven’t seen in a while and have perhaps just dropped the odd card on. It might be a nice idea given the time of year if you can perhaps give them a phone call or maybe even a little visit.  I’m sure they’d appreciate it and hopefully you aren’t met with the shock I was.

Image result for free christmas gifs with sound

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About davidprosser

Retired Local Government Officer who started to write at age 60 and hasn't looked back. Writes a humorous diary on the life of a member of the gentry.......and the village he lives in with his sadistic early morning alarm cat Oscar and his wife the formidable Lady J.
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17 Responses to A Timely Reminder

  1. D. Parker says:

    It’s true, it’s so easy to lose touch or just not be in touch as much as we’d like and time, the thief teams up with death, another thief and steals people away. I\m sorry to hear about this loss, dear David and how loss always reminds us of other losses, sneaking up and beating us with a that baseball bat of grief. I hope time with your family and friends in this the holiday season and all the year through reminds you and all of us to enjoy the here and now.
    Massive any season with you in it is the best season ever dearest friend hugs xoxoxoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • davidprosser says:

      Donna, what an ego boost you are.Where would I be without your kind words dear friend. Probably six feet lower than I am now.You describe it so well, even down to the baseball bat of grief. It’s much easier to enjoy the here and now when it contains friends like you who entertain us but make us aware of the seriousness behind it.
      Gigantic Greetings of the Season to you. I hope you have a Wonderful Christmas.
      Hugs Galore xxxxxxxxxxx

      Like

  2. jilldennison says:

    I’m so very sorry about your friend, David. Thank you for this timely reminder … I think we are all guilty of not staying in touch as we should, caught up as we are in our daily routines. It’s good to remember, not only at Christmas but year round.

    Cwtch

    Liked by 1 person

    • davidprosser says:

      Thank you Dear Jill. You’re right that we’re all guilty of this unintentional desertion and that it can be all year round.The intention to get in touch is always there but so easy to delay. I hope everyone finds someone who should be due a visit and makes their Christmas.
      Cwtch Mawr.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. merrildsmith says:

    Sorry for your loss, David. I hope you are well. Wishing you a very happy holiday season. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s too bad you got the news of J’s death when it was too late to reach out to him. Perhaps you have done what you were supposed to do — prod others to be aware of people who might need a visit or a kind word. Thank you for the reminder.

    xxx Reminder Hugs xxx

    Like

  5. colettebytes says:

    You know, this happens when we think everyone is doing fine because we haven’t heard from them in a while… We assume they are busy, and we don’t want to be a bother.
    Don’t beat yourself up over this David. Your friends wife likely didn’t want to face people when it happened, preferring to grieve alone. A cousin of mine (we didn’t have a lot of contact) left it a year and a half before telling my sister that her father had died. I think that was intentional. I did wonder if my letters to him were getting lost?

    I am sorry about the loss of your friend and your advice to keep in touch is relevant, but the other person in that equation also has to want the contact too. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • davidprosser says:

      You’re right Colette, I hadn’t looked at it from that angle or even from how I felt in the same circumstances.But maybe we can just offer to be there if needed rather than just barge in. I certainly wouldn’t want my friend’s wife to think his passing went unnoticed and that he wasn’t valued as a friend. Sometimes the very thing that helps you get through is knowing just how far that persons memory is spread.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. MELewis says:

    Lovely sentiments you express here, David, and worthy of a thought. It is hard to remember when our lives are busy but the old art of card writing keeps us connected in ways that the digital world can’t replace. So very sorry for the sad news, but the silver lining is that it inspired you to post. I do miss seeing you in this space more often, but great to get a small dose of your warmth and humour just in time for the holidays! Wishing you a few nice surprises and much love from family and friends! xo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. inesephoto says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss, David. Don’t blame yourself. Some people with cancer diagnosis don’t want anyone to know. Many grieving people want to grieve alone. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your daughter and her family. Many Hugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    • davidprosser says:

      Thanks so much Inese, I can understand a person’s want of privacy when they are diagnosed with cancer and that some want to grieve alone. But because we had not seen each other in a while they may have thought me disinterested. I’d rather be told they wanted some private time, than for them to think I didn’t care at all.
      I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I shall be with Yvonne and the family on Boxing Day letting the children wear me out.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. colettebytes says:

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year David. I hope 2019 brings good things for you.
    😊🎉🎀🎁🎄🕊️💕

    Liked by 1 person

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